"For what it's worth"

This is a post for my friends and family; whether it pertains to the time I spent being miserable, apathetic, drunk or otherwise while in college, this goes out to them and is for what it's worth.

I've said it in a few posts as of late but college is over. There is a strange mix of weightlessness, like I'm floating somewhere in limbo with complete and utter joy, accompanied by an acute sense of fear that things will never be the same, that the people who have somehow come into my life will be lost as we leave to begin to live the rest of our lives, hoping that in some way the impact we made (or hoped to have made) will have been enough to ensure that we will remain some small part of one another. Then there are those people who have remained active participants in my life since high school, when the same feelings applied but a lifetime ago; college was on the horizon and freedom was a beacon of hope, naiveté was a false comfort and ambivalence was overcome with a belief that the rest of our lives began the moment the car was packed and we stepped into our roles as "independent" adults, attending classes we believed would give us the knowledge we lacked to be successful, active contributors in our communities and society at large. Being a kid was great, right?
Families grew farther apart, others tightened and expanded. Sisters got married and pregnant (in that order, thank god), parents got older and maybe slightly more frail but were still the compass we chose to follow or ignore. Sometimes tragedy was the mechanism by which friendships were decided to have no bounds and the catalyst that transformed lifelong ideals and forced change that may have otherwise never occurred. Roles were reversed, enforced or assigned. Titles became more numerous and life's endeavors more complicated but somehow everything kept moving.
Phone calls were frequent and innumerable. Minutes and hours were wasted with silence because sometimes it wasn't to talk that we called home, but just to have the comfort that if you wanted to say something the line was already connected. Eventually reliance on our formers lessened and shifted to those in the present. Together we would commiserate and scrutinize every detail of a case, quiz or test. Some didn't understand the relentless dissection of every word, but they weren't accountants and couldn't understand how such a routine was comfort to us, even as we discovered every mistake and error and estimated a grade that wouldn't be posted till the following week. Group breakfasts often followed 8am classes and afternoons after tests and weekends, that started on Wednesdays, were spent and forgotten at bars, while Facebook became a way to archive and begin to piece together a night lost at Ben's.
I've come to where I am now and wonder what I used to be and most likely wouldn't be able to recognize who it was back then that used to slide down hills on a block of ice, chase cows on a country road or drive up and down Partich Rd hunting Rebobs (but really hoping to not find anything but a good scare) because someone's parents paid for the gas. I guess it's all worked out for the best, even if some of it really sucked.

Life, it's happening.

I am still adjusting to the idea of being done with college (with the exception of one class I will finish this summer), but I suppose it has still been less than a week. There are no homework assignments, group projects, classes, quizzes or tests to study for or get worked up about, however, they have been replaced by the almost insurmountable task of packing up my apartment. It is a feat that has unmasked my ability to find value in the most worthless of items and forces me to ask myself why a post-it note was not thrown in the trash three years ago. The worst has been finding old receipts from purchases made at the likes of JCrew and company. Finding one would have been fine, but when you find 4 or more it can be somewhat devastating. Those I promptly threw out. No need to tally them, the damage has been done.
I call my apartment a hole but it actually has not been a horrible place to live while in school. Unless having neighbors who's sexual exploits have been on display via their balcony, or overheard through a mutual bedroom wall. I mean really? One, the whole balcony incident occurred in the middle of winter when it was like 30 degrees out and then the other one.... it doesn't feel that good and you are not making an X-rated movie, and if you are that is gross and no one will watch it unless they have a fetish for ugly people. People are gross. I look forward to the day when the only thing I share with a neighbor is a 10-foot privacy wall.I don't want you to think that I am a hermit or grump; I really enjoy the company of other people, but usually not my neighbors. When I have to listen to screaming that could be mistaken for a cat being skinned alive or you constantly slamming your front door, speaking in Spanish and then me being startled by my dog suddenly barking at the window... yeah I kind of hate you.

In other news, today I gave my dog, Kobi, a haircut. If you don't like it keep it to yourself; chances are I don't like yours either. 

The Late Post that had to be Reposted!

This is kind of annoying because I posted this entry to my blog a few days ago and for some reason it is no longer showing so I am reposting it. This is an entry I wrote back in March and never though was finished but looking at it now it seems complete.

I guess this blog-thing is going to be more difficult to keep up on than I had anticipated at first. I can only bring myself to write when I feel like it and not just because I have loads of material (and in the last couple weeks I have a lot).
I find that my morning ritual has become more and more standardized as of recently. Of course it begins with a groan and me cursing the sun for waking me up too early and then rolling back over and waking up another hour and a half later (and having an 8am class doesn't prevent me from doing this). Once I do decide I am almost ready to get up, I open one eye and check my Facebook on my phone that charges right next to me (it's my other half and sleeps on the right side of the bed... not the night stand), and then I shoot my cousin a menacing text if he hasn't already called, because he thinks it is his job to keep me on a normal sleep schedule and call at 7:30am, and wait for a few seconds before the screen lights up with his picture. My day has begun and it is easy to waste the morning switching between holding the phone at my ear and turning on speakerphone as I cook eggs and drink coffee, antagonizing one another as we would normally do if we were in the same room (I would settle for the same state at this point). Conversations are intermittently interrupted by the coos and giggles of almost 7 month-old Sam and stories about changing diapers or a new tooth or his eating habits. Normal conversation. You may not think so but it is extremely interesting and the best part of my mornings. Eventually Aaron (my cousin), bemoans the loss of the morning and we reluctantly give in to the call of our days and hang up. Bah.

You're an Egg.

Can I start this post by saying that I cannot stand Lady GaGa? Every time I get in my car and the radio comes on it's her. I will give her credit and say that her songs are not awful but just played to point that it makes me want to commit suicide. Also, in general, she is kind of just annoying. No one wakes up in the morning and says, "today I think I want to wear a bookshelf on my head because that is who I am." She is ridiculous and the biggest marketing scam ever conceived. I wish I could stuff her back in an egg and drop it in a pot of boiling water, dye it and then hide it in my backyard on Easter and forget about it. Over. Next.
In more relevant news, the stuff that pertains mostly to me, I finished my last semester of college! Praise Allah-Buddah-Shiva-who cares. Never I have I had such a feeling of elation and mobility. I could jump in the car and just leave. I won't but I feel like I could. I don't even really feel like I have to get a job at this point. When someone asks, "what do you do?" I can say, "I have a degree in accounting!" and be done with it. I think having a BS in Business Administration with an emphasis in Accounting gives me the right to do nothing. I think I have developed a slight issue with entitlement. Thank you college.
It is somewhat baffling that this phase of my life is over and I don't really know how to transition into the next part. This semester was lost somewhere in a bar, or left in the bottom of a pint glass, passing the time in class on Facebook chat with those sitting right next to me, scanning the room to assign celebrity likeatures and nicknames to classmates (or victims may be a more appropriate word). Rudolph (the puppet from those Christmas movies), Al Capone, Sister-wife and the most infamous Pompadour, were just a few of the favorites. I am unsure as to how this became our daily routine but it was what kept us sane, and trying to muffle the sound of our laughter during lectures was a greater accomplishment than getting an A on a test. Actually, assigning people alias' was my doing, but it was fun and sending people pictures of look-a-likes and trying to get them to laugh at the most inappropriate of times was my favorite pastime. Oh the things I learned in college.